STARTS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1ST
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Week 1. Fix Your Focus
Week 2. Fenced Out by Offense
Week 3. You Get What You Give
Week 4. Naked and Afraid
Genesis 3:8-11 - When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” 11 “Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked.
Genesis 2:25 - Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
The Veneer of Vulnerability
The reality is we are afraid of true intimacy because we’re afraid they’re going to hurt me.
Fear is the enemy of vulnerability
Fear leads to lack of trust
…Lack of trust leads to a lack of exposure
……Lack of exposure means we’re not going to be known.
Spend so much of our relationship time hiding the true us
We put on an act, a costume, which is not fulfilling to either side.
We Gotta Get Naked
Will anyone really “Like” to get to know the real me?
When we lose one costume, instead of reverting to authenticity, we immediately begin crafting another costume, because we are afraid they will not like the real us.
God can always be trusted to “LIKE” you.
Not just love you. He is love. But God knows the truth about you and likes you anyway. He gives us what we need to please Him. Please = LIKE
Hide & Seek
The fall is described in Genesis. The whole passage when God comes back and talks to Adam and Eve the focus is, “Who told you you were naked?”
Ever since sin came we are afraid of being naked.
Up until this point, Adam and Eve were so fulfilled with God’s love the never even noticed they were naked.
What is it about a separation from God that makes us so narcissistic and self-aware and afraid that we would clothe ourselves?
Three Circles: Self circle, second circle called shame, shame is scary so the third circle is fear or a costume. The things you found that people accepted and we hone that craft.
The problem is you can’t have intimacy with the shame and the costume.
To have relationship, to have intimacy, people have to get to the “Self”.
So we have to take of the costume, and we have to deal with the shame, so that we can allow people to connect with the real self. Then you can have intimacy.
God can’t bless who I pretend to be.
Not everybody gets access, but someone has too…
If everyone has access its trouble, and if nobody has access it’s a problem.
>> And here’s where we start to get in mess. We’re so afraid of taking off our costume and dealing with our shame, that we instead try to change other people. We’ll work on their speck, ignoring our log.
How do you break your relationship patterns? By choosing not to engage in codependency. You get to choose whether you want to be in a relationship or not. You cannot choose to change them or make them what you want to be.
>> The human longing cannot be fulfilled by another person.
Not Good for Man to be Alone
Adam was not fulfilled with God alone. He placed in Adam a need.
Pain and loneliness is a gift from God to make the blessing greater.
God allows the void so He can fill it.
It's our flaws that are the glue in our relationships. Grace only sticks to our imperfections.
When you share an insecurity it always brings you closer. We think it will drive people away but it doesn’t.