FATHER'S DAY 2017 | House of Hope

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged.
— Colossians 3:20-21

The negative sermon. The "do not’s..."

A. This seems like it would be very easy thing to do.

If you want to lose weight don’t eat… It’s simple just sit there and do nothing.

B. Live a life worthy of imitation.

How can we have a life that if our kids imitated we would be okay with?

>>> If there was a way wouldn’t you want that? This verse is broken down into three things: Fathers, exasperating your children, and discouragement.

1. “Lest They Become Discouraged”

A. The goal of a good father is to rear children who are not discouraged.

  • The word implies losing heart, being listless, spiritless, disinterested, moody, sullen, with a kind of blank resignation toward life.
  • Don’t be the kind of father who rears that kind of person. Instead develop a style of fatherhood that produces the opposite of discouragement.

B. The Opposite of Discouragement

  • The opposite of being discouraged is being hopeful.
  • The opposite of being discouraged is being happy.
  • The opposite of being discouraged is being confident and courageous.

C. The verse implies a positive command as well. It says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, lest they become discouraged.” But it means not only avoid one kind of fatherhood; it also means pursue another kind;

  • The kind of fatherhood which gives hope instead of discouragement; and gives happiness instead of discouragement; and gives confidence and courage.

2. “Do Not exasperate Your Children”

A. Again we notice that the commandment is negative — something to be avoided.

  • It is a warning against the misuse of legitimate authority.
  • V20, gives to parents tremendous authority and responsibility under God. Children are to do what parents say.

B. Ruining a Child’s Confidence in God

  • V21, he cautions fathers against a misuse of this God-given authority.
  • The misuse he has in mind is that fathers might treat their children in such a way that their spirit is broken and they become hopelessly discouraged.
  • This requires tremendous wisdom from fathers, because not all short term discouragements result in long term hopelessness.

C. What do fathers do that provoke children to long-term discouragement and hopelessness?

1. Failing to Be Happy and Hopeful in God

  • First, some fathers fail to BE happy and hopeful and confident in God.

2. Disciplining in an Impulsive, Erratic, and Inconsistent Way

  • Unpredictable, impulsive, hostile discipline makes children fearful, bitter, deceitful, and discouraged
  • On the other hand, when discipline is controlled and appropriate and consistent and based on clear rules and principles of justice in the home, an atmosphere is created where children flourish in freedom.

3. "Fathers . . ."

A. Verse 20 said, “Children, obey your parents.” This clearly teaches that mothers as well as fathers are to be obeyed. Mothers and fathers have a shared authority over the children.

  • Fathers bear a special responsibility for the moral life of the family. So I urge you to take that responsibility, fathers, and that you be the kind of man who gives hope and happiness and confidence to your children

B. You yourself have to find your hope, your happiness and your confidence in God.

  • What encourages you most in life. Somebody else telling you can do something or you doing something?
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. -Albert Einstein

C. If we want our children not to be exasperated and to not be discouraged then they have to have confidence in their ability to change.

  • You change by a positive imperative not negative.  When you add to something to something has to be taken from.
  • The best way to keep your children from discouragement is to prove in your own life that you can change.

D.  How do I grow?

1 Peter 1:3-8 - By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 4 And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. 5 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. 8 The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.

V5 respond by adding to your life these things:

  1. Moral excellence
  2. Knowledge
  3. Self control
  4. Patient endurance
  5. Godliness
  6. Brotherly love for everyone


Fathers you want to have a home that is a house of hope? You want your children to be encouraged instead of discouraged. Teach them that a man can Grow. He can change. Live a life worthy of Imitation a life of hope.