The Five C's of Fatherhood

Intro: How to survive

Dave Canterbury: There are five things that are really difficult to manufacture in the woods. So if you are going to survive in the wilderness, you should take these things with you.
  1. Cutting tool
  2. Combustion device
  3. Cover
  4. Container that can boil water
  5. Cordage

>>> What is Dave trying to get across to us? There are some things you need to already have before you go into the wilderness. As Fathers, there are some things that our kids really need to take into the world with them. Things they already have before they face the realities of life. Things that are really hard for people to manufacture for themselves when they walk out of our homes at 18, 21, or 42…

I. The Five C’s of Fatherhood.

Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

A. There are 5 things that if you can make sure your kids have them, it will make life easier on them.  
B. Don’t stir up anger

  • Be consistent. Don’t let your emotions control how you live.

C. Bring them up in training.

  • One problem we have as fathers and mothers is the fact that we are not intentional. 
  • If you are going to train your children, you need to be intentional.
  • Seek to teach your children these things. Know what you want them to know and teach it to them.

1: CONFIDENCE  

Confidence comes from having an Identity. Teach your children who they are in Christ.

1 Peter 2:9 - But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
  • Teach them that God will never give up on them.
Philippians 1:6 - Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
  • Teach them that God is always available at any time. That they can seek His help.
Hebrews 4:16 - Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
  • Being ok with ok gives confidence. There is a fine line between pushing and imposing failure.
  • We are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has made each of us the way He wanted us so >>> The first thing you need to teach your children confidence in God and their identity is to take confidence in it yourself. God is so much in love with you. He wants the best for you. 

2: CHARACTER

  • True character is shown in how you act in any situation. Doing the right thing when no one is looking.
  • Actions do speak louder than words in many circumstances.
Colossians 3:17 - And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
  • Teach a Moral Compass, what is right and wrong scripturally. Not just socially.
  • Integrity, what is your word worth?

>>> The best way to teach character is to own up to your mistakes. Admit when you are wrong. Say you are sorry and ask forgiveness. Have them do it too. We punish all the time, but we forget to lead them to confession.

3: Courage

John 16:33 - I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.
  • Be courageous. It doesn’t say feel courageous! There is no courage without fear.
  • You can teach courage! Find things where they can fight the fear and succeed.
  • There are 2 types of courage. Good and Bad.
Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
  • Bad courage: to rob a store or to chew someone out. 
  • Good courage: facing your fears for the sake of others.  Standing up for those who cannot stand for themselves.
  • You have to teach courage for someone to act courageous. Give them a task outside their comfort zone

>>> We cannot live in fear. Our God has won the victory for us. We win! Learn to face your fears and live a courageous life!

4: COMPASSION

Colossians 3: 12-13 - Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
  • Be compassionate. No matter what the world does around you.
Romans 2:4 - Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?
  • Mercy, Kindness, God’s loving kindness brings people to new life.
  • Teach your children to compliment, not tear down and to encourage others, not discourage. 

>>> Compassion brings joy. If you can’t overcome your selfishness enough to show compassion on others, to be kind, and to bring hope, you will never have joy in your life. Remember how you feel when we place another well in Kenya.

5: COMPETENCE

  • Responsibility makes a person. 
  • Teach your children to be competent, to live up to responsibility.
2 Timothy 2:15 - Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who doesn’t need to be ashamed, correctly teaching the word of truth.
  • Teach them so they don’t have to live in shame. We think we are helping our kids when we don’t demand anything from them. 
  • Teach them things they should know. How to read a map. How to write a letter. How to be courteous, manners…
  • People who are taught responsibility make a difference in the world. They engage in life because they aren’t afraid to take things on.
Luke 16:10 - If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.
  • Use mission trips and helping others. Use things that others will see. It will drive them to do the best they can.

>>> Teach them competence. Encourage and praise them. Set them up so they engage in life and live an adventure, not just living on the scraps handed to them. 

Summary:

CONFIDENCE
I have a place prepared for me. I have the victory. I will never be alone. I am a daughter or son of the most-high God. Confidence.

CHARACTER
I live by a code. I care about who I am. My word is my bond. I speak truth. I can be trusted with secrets, with money, with people. I do what is right because of who I am, not because I’m afraid of the consequences of being caught. Character.

COURAGE 
I know I will be afraid, but I will not let stop me from what I need to do. There can be no courage without fear, so I will be strong and of good courage.

COMPASSION
I will show the loving kindness of my God and my maker, Jesus. I will help the helpless and give hope to the hopeless because that is what Jesus did for me. I will lead others to new life and new possibilities because that is the most compassionate thing that can be done for others. Compassion.

COMPETENCE
I am not ashamed of who I am. I’ll take the responsibility because I finish what I start. I know what it is to finish something. I know what it is to do it well. I have been faithful in small things. I am ready for the big ones. Competence

Five things to teach your children to prepare them for the wilderness we call life. Will you be intentional? We are going to give you a memento today. A survival tool. When you look at it, you remember what your children will be facing and help them put together their 5-piece kit, so they can live life to the fullest.